Christmas has always meant so much to me and the beauty I see in it was taught to me by my Nana. Sadly, she passed away on September 16th of this year and no matter how joyful and spirited I try to be, deep down my holiday cheer isn’t the same.
If you had the pleasure of meeting my Nana then you know that her holiday spirit was bigger than Santa’s lol. She would call us to make sure that we were watching the Christmas movies, she would have us decorating her tiny apartment with ALL the lights, she would cook for days with the Christmas music blasting, and so many other memories. So I am finding it hard to be my usual holiday spirited self when I miss her and want these memories to be happening in the present. It is hard to not be selfish when you lose someone you love, you want them back all the time.
This blog post is just to be real and raw with you all, it is not me pretending to know all the answers on how to cope with loss during the holidays. Maybe I will have some answers next year. But with the help of my therapist, I do know that it is okay to feel this. So if you are going through something similar, remember that you are not alone. These feelings are hard but normal, and if you need to talk with a professional DO NOT feel ashamed, and if you have close friends and family surround yourself with them this Christmas.
P.S. I did come across this website with 64 “pro-tips” for coping with grief during the holidays. I am trying some of the tips and hopefully I can update you if any of them work for me. Let me know in the comments if you are trying to cope with